Would You Invite Stress to Dinner?

A beautiful table prepared for honored guests. Would you give Stress a seat here?

"Stress is killing us."

This was the text message I received one evening from a colleague after a long discussion about work woes, the evening news, and the unhealthy, stressful responses it so often produces.

I sat with her words for a while and became curious about this little nuisance in our lives. What started as curiosity turned into a whole dog hole. You know, the holes dogs dig to unearth their ground and discover what’s beneath? Yep, that was me. I had so many questions, and I began digging. So, for this blog, help me unearth what makes stress so interesting.

Have you ever paused to reflect on stress? What is it really, and why is it so deeply disturbing to our daily lives? Why does it seem as elusive as the wind slipping through our fingers—as if we are subject to its whims?

Stress as a Dinner Guest

We usually talk about stress as if it’s a vague, untouchable thing. But the text, “Stress is killing us,”  shifted my perspective. The capital “S” made stress feel less abstract and more like it had its own direction and motivations, almost like a person.

I couldn’t help but wonder: if stress really were a person, how would we treat it? Here’s a poem I wrote pondering this very thing, called The Dinner Guest.

The Dinner Guest

By: Dr. Raegan Tuff

If Stress were a person,

and knocked on your door,

would you invite him in?

Would you be taken by his polite charm,

by his cool, calm, and collected character?

Would you invite Stress to sit

at your dinner table

to pass the peas, collard greens, and rice

between you, your family, and friends;

to dominate the discourse,

to disturb your communal delight?

If Stress were a person, would you invite him

to play games,

to deal a card deck of

despair,

doubt,

distress,

disaster

four of a kind,

his winning hand?

Could Stress tally tolls

with diagonal slashes

for every deadly diagnosis

of a stress-related illness?

Would you let Stress stand

bold in defiance

of pastoral, academic, programmatic,

and communal wisdom?

If Stress were a person,

would you invite him in?

Reframing Stress

Now, if you have the lungs to belt out tunes like those five Detroit-raised Clark Sisters—Jacky, Denise, Twinkie, Dorinda, and Karen—I hope you’re yelling, “NO, OF COURSE NOT!”

Hopefully, you’re harmonizing with me: “It’s not all in vaaaaain. Science is not in vaaaain… cause up the road is eternal gain!”

And that’s why I’m writing this piece to share that we can gain our lives back when we uninvite stress from our lives. I’m sure you've read the poem and realized how preposterous it may seem to see stress and still “take it out to dinner,” as my dad would say. But that’s exactly what we do. Don't get me wrong, acute stress from time to time is designed to help us remain alert and response-ready, but chronic stress that lasts for weeks or longer and likes to linger in our lives erodes us slowly, contributing to chronic conditions like heart disease, obesity, diabetes, insomnia, anxiety, depression, and decline in mental stamina.

According to the American Psychiatric Association’s 2024 Mental Health Survey of over 2,200 U.S. adults, 43% said they felt more anxious than the year before, up from 37% in 2023 and 32% in 2022. The biggest concerns driving that anxiety were the economy (77%), current events in general (70%), and gun violence (69%). Yet despite rising stress, only 24% of respondents reported seeking help for this issue.

What stood out most to me was that, despite stress rising, very few reported seeking professional help. I don’t believe this is because people are simply ignoring stress. In fact, I think it garners a lot of attention. However, the data speaks to barriers like cost, access, stigma, and cultural expectations. Multi-pronged approaches will ensure we address it holistically.

Public health gives us practice and evidence-based tools to combat stress across many disciplines --- epidemiology to understand patterns, health promotion to change behaviors, policy to shape systems, and community health to build connections. Clinical care helps diagnose and treat stress when it takes a toll on the body and mind. Community organizations, like churches, can step in to connect people with resources and offer strong social support. Scriptural wisdom gives us practical guidelines for addressing the spiritual authority stress tries to maintain in our lives. In 2 Corinthians 10:5, we are admonished to “cast down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God.”

If we know the earth is the Lord’s and everything in it (Psalm 24:1), then Stress can’t own our conversations, our thoughts, or our lives. We must be committed to conversing with God about our concerns and cast stress's arguments down so that it cannot interpret our circumstances. God’s Word is the final Word.

A Spiritual Stress Self-Exam: The G.O.D. Framework

In public health, we encourage self-monitoring as part of a larger strategy to manage certain chronic diseases in conjunction with professional care. Conceptualizing chronic stress as a chronic disease that causes debilitating health effects, I often engage in my own “Stress Self-Exam” anytime I feel it trying to take up space in my heart, mind, and body over and above God’s Word. It includes three steps that center on G.O.D.:

G – Get Grounded

Get still and ground yourself. Become aware of where stress is showing up in your body (e.g., throat, shoulders, chest, head) and how it’s affecting you and your family. Pray that the Holy Spirit gives you grace to release it.

• Psalm 46:10 — Be still, and know that I am God.

O – Observe

Our bodies are God’s temples. Be mindful of what you’re letting in (e.g., despair-filled news or doom-filled conversations). While it’s good to be aware of what’s happening around you, don’t let it consume you.

• Proverbs 4:23 — Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

D – Dwell

Dwell on the promise of God rather than the stress of your present situation. Turn your attention and trust to God’s truth. Choose to speak life over your heart, mind, body, and community. Stay connected to those who can provide support during especially turbulent times.

• Psalm 141:3 — Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!

• Psalm 19:14 — Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord.

The Good News

The good news is God’s grace is sufficient for us. His strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). We don’t overcome stress by our own power, but by relying on Him.

Prayer

Lord, thank You that Your grace is sufficient for me. When stress tries to barge in and overtake the space in mind, body, and spirit remind me to ground myself in You, observe what I let into my heart, and dwell on Your truth. Set a guard over my lips and help me speak life, not fear. I receive Your peace that surpasses all understanding, and I choose to rest in Your promises today. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

© 2025 Dr. Raegan Tuff. A Spiritual Stress Self Exam: The G.O.D. Framework™ is the original work of Dr. Raegan Tuff. All rights reserved.